One of my clients is a very talented novelist who is writing a political thriller. He and his very dedicated literary agents are working diligently to offer the book to selected New York editors, gauge the responses, and then modify the book and their proposal before submitting the package to additional editors. It’s a smart strategy.

The editors who have read the book – or have started to read it – have offered a mixed bag of responses. Some say the characters are too thinly dawn. Others want more action up front. Others say they can’t identify with the protagonist.

There is no consensus, only a grab bag of contradictory feedback. It’s possible that the author is encountering an expectations gap. Editors, like readers, have a set of preconceptions about what they like and what they think will sell. If you meet those expectations, terrific. If not, you have a tough road ahead.

As any author knows, the query letter is key. It sets up expectations. These expectations must be fulfilled, or the editor will put the book down. Unfortunately, the word “thriller” comes with a set of images – nowadays in the form of Jack Reacher and/or Lisbeth Salander. If you’re not offering a domestic crime caper with a tough guy/tough gal protagonist, preferably one with crippling personal issues, you have some explaining to do.

Which brings us back to our query letter. There is a one-sentence format that every author should at least attempt to fulfill. This is the “When…then” formula. Here are some examples of this formula in action when applied to a selection of classic books on my bookshelf.

A. “When the warrior’s ship is blown off course, he faces a ten-year journey to return home and defend his wife against greedy suitors.”

B. “When a young London real estate agent is sent to meet a client in a mysterious castle in Transylvania, he faces an evil force more powerful than he could imagine.”

C. “When a young guitar player happens to meet a singer on the train, an unlikely partnership is formed that will change pop music forever.”

D. “When a boy and girl meet at a dance and fall in love, they unleash a bitter family conflict that threatens their lives.”

E. “When a newly divorced woman buys a bed and breakfast in a remote seacoast town, she discovers the true love of her life.”

The answers – A. “The Odyssey”; B. “Dracula”; C. “Life” by Keith Richards; D. “Romeo and Juliet”; E. Any one of a thousand books.

It’s a tidy formula: When some trigger event happens, then the protagonist faces challenges and/or opportunities. It’s like a door opening.

Literature is above all about the individual human experience. When your reader connects with your protagonist, you’ve got a companion on your journey.

Thomas Hauck, freelance book editor, helps clients in Boston, New England, and around the world bring their books to the highest level possible. If you need help with your novel, memoir, self-help book, or business book, contact Thomas Hauck today.